How to listen empathetically
Listening is a skill that seems to be waning in our distraction-heavy cultures, yet it remains one of the most humane things you can do when interacting with another person.
Drollinger et. al, found that the three steps to listening empathetically are as follows:
Sensing (verbal and non-verbal cues):
What is someone saying? What words are they using? What emotions are they demonstrating?
Processing (mentally interpreting the received information):
What is the speaker's perspective? What are the connections you can make in the message? How is it being delivered based on what you know about the speaker?
Responding (demonstrating understanding):
What clarifying questions do you need to ask? Is time required for you to think about the response? What is the person looking for from you?
Active listening is not possible if you are distracted by something (or someone) else. Ensure you give the person your undivided attention, and then remember to listen to understand, not just to respond.
Sometimes, the best response is no response at all. Some people don’t want you to fix them or their problems, they merely want to share how they feel so that they can get on with their work or life.
Listening is a skill that others will always appreciate, which in turn will generate feelings of respect and trust. The question should never be ‘Why should I take the time to listen intently?’ It should be ‘what do I stand to lose if I don’t?’